Raising adolescents to adhere to godly values concerning their sexuality is a difficult task. As a parent, we aspire for our children to live in a manner that respects God's wishes. Unfortunately, we often have firsthand knowledge that participating in sexual behavior prior to marriage can be detrimental in numerous ways.
The Extent of Purification
Desiring to protect kids from the hurt and harm of sexual activity outside of marriage, families, churches and Christian schools emphasize Biblical verses such as 1 Corinthians 6:18 & 1 Thessalonians 4:4-5 which teach the need to abstain from immorality and keep control of one's body in a holy and honorable way.
Utilizing this approach often involves simply telling teens what not to do and why, rather than providing them with the skills needed to uphold a standard. The primary technique used is generally don't, which unfortunately fails to address the urges teens experience. Conversations with parents and participation in church youth group can lead to teens feeling ashamed of natural sexual feelings, and to avoid situations where they may succumb to those feelings. While this is not inaccurate, it does not offer enough preparation and resources, leading to teens struggling with sexual feelings they can't cease, and feeling guilty for having or expressing them.
Gaining Control of Sexual Desires Requires Education
I Thessalonians 4:4 instructs individuals to learn to control their own bodies. Just like with any other body part, managing desire and sexuality requires practice. Children don't know how to walk when they are born—they must train their muscles and fall many times in order to learn. Similarly, when teens begin to experience surging hormones, they don't instinctively know how to handle them. It's crucial for parents to normalize this and discuss it with their kids, emphasizing that learning to navigate these powerful urges takes practice.
God's decree to abstain from sexual indecency safeguards teens from damage and teaches them the competence they require to skilfully maneuver matrimony. If young adults don't develop the aptitude to regulate sexual urges in ways that allow them to recognize their sexual intuitions without necessarily giving into them, this will likely lead to troubles in marriage. Sexuality is one of the most recurrent subjects of contention in couples, oftentimes due to conflicting libidos and one partner feeling the strain from the other. Developing the ability to handle sexuality without denying its presence or feeling disgraceful for it furnishes an essential set of skills imperative to wedlock!
Sexual Desires are Not Immoral or Inappropriate
God designed us with sexual urges and desires, which He has declared “very good”. These feelings are normal, regardless of age or marital status. Responses to these impulses should be healthy, with conversations being key. These talks don't need to be intense but should be regular and without shame, helping kids understand the natural role sexuality plays in life.
Management requires skill development
Help your child understand that managing their sexuality is a set of skills they need to learn – just like they learn to play their favorite sport or band instrument – so that they don’t feel like they should simply know what to do What, instead becomes a place to see yourself as a learner who needs practice. In this regard, you can choose the sex doll torso as an exercise object, appropriately relieve sexual needs, and improve sexual skills!
